commune

on communal dinners, and planning for self-led writing retreats

Hello my dear Musers

Welcome to all my new subscribers and hello to my old ones. It’s lovely to have you here. This newsletter is mostly for my paid subscribers. My next free one will come out in just under a fortnight.

Melbourne Airport at 6am…not the Aurora

I’m writing to you from the warmth of the Perth hills. Today it’s forecast to be 29 degrees Celsius and the other days I’ve been here have been the same. The sky is wide and blue and the sun shines down on a deeply parched land. Dead or dying trees lie collapsed on each other or the ground. It’s a sobering reminder of the effects of climate change. All Perth people I have spoken to talk about how tired they are of the summer that has lagged into the end of autumn, how they long to wear winter clothes again. For a Melburnian, I feel I have dropped back into summer and it’s hard to reckon that joy I feel with the reality of what I’m hearing and seeing.

I’m in Perth for a two week writing fellowship at the Katharine Susannah Pritchard Writers’ Centre. It’s my first writing fellowship and it is such a privilege to be here.

My plan for the fortnight is to review the structure of my rom-com manuscript and then to work my way through it. It’s a wonderful thing to have time and space to think and keep my head in it.

This newsletter I’m talking about Dunley Dinners and how to prepare for a writing retreat.

Dunley Dinners

My lovely friend

Karen Hollenbach

asked me to talk more about the idea behind Dunley Dinners. She was curious about where the idea of them came from and what the rituals are for them.

In my three sons’ later teen years as they headed into part time jobs and thick in the study of VCE and uni, I wanted to have one night a week that we would gather around the table to talk and eat and catch up. Unfortunately, this also coincided with the outbreak of COVID and the rolling lockdowns. By the time it was done, my eldest had moved to the country and everyone’s lives seemed to have cranked up a notch with busy lives. At the start of this year as I sat beside the beautiful Kiewa River, I started my annual ritual of reflecting on the year gone and thinking about the year ahead.

I decided in that quiet moment that I wanted to open up the idea of a family dinner to include friends and people who needed a feed.

Growing up, my home was never locked. People came and went as they pleased. Dinner was always an open invitation to our friends and the wider community. My parents were scout leaders, then youth group leaders, then were highly involved in the church. If was a known thing for many people that they could rock up for a feed and a chat. While I didn’t always love it as a kid (introvert who longed for a quiet space), I did love that people were always welcome. I guess part of what I was thinking with the Dunley Dinners was this, that people are always welcome, that food can spread (loaves and fishes kind of thinking) and that it widens our lives a little, especially as my youngest two will most likely leave home in the next couple of years.

I also felt a little bit of urgency with it knowing that the cost of living is really tough for so many and that if this once-a-week meal helped alleviate some of that pressure, just a little, then that feels right.

I told a bunch of friends, mostly those who I knew may be isolated or struggling financially, and told my two who live at home to let their mates know. It took a couple of months to take off, but now it’s a regular thing and the numbers swell and shrink and it is that lovely communal space.

The rituals around the meal are small and really come from what my mum was able to do for us when we had small kids and were broke). I cook big, so that no one feels that they can’t have a second helping if they want, and to allow for last minute drop-ins. I also always make a dessert as that’s something that we are less likely to do on a normal night and I love our visitors to go home with a lovely full belly.

It’s been really lovely coming for Dunley Dinner. It’s been over 4 years since I last sat around a table having a family dinner.

- Emma

When Emma said this at the end of one dinner, I was filled with contentment. This was exactly what I had hoped it would provide.

The other huge side benefit has been getting to know the young adults so much better. I joked to them recently that it’s my insurance for when the boys move out, that I’ll hopefully still have a crowd around for dinner one night a week.

Self-led writing retreats

As I was packing to come to KSP Writers’ Centre in Perth, I thought about the things that I always take when I go away to write and thought it may be helpful for others who may be at the early stages of writing and aren’t sure what to take.

Before I pack, though, I spend some time thinking about what I plan to do while I’m away and what feeling I want to come home with. I do this by setting realistic intentions for the time (how much time do I have and how much can I get done in that time). I also think about where I’m going and whether there is anything I want to do while I’m there (writing related or not) to make sure I’m not filling it with recreational things but also allowing myself breaks from writing.

I also load up my phone with audiobooks and podcasts relevant to whatever stage I’m at and what I’m working on.

Packing list

While it may seem unnecessary to put together a list, I find it ensures I don’t forget anything. Nothing worse than arriving and realising the laptop charger is still plugged in at my desk.

• laptop

• chargers for laptop and phone

• keyboard

• monitor and cord (only for retreats I drive to — but if you know someone in the state/country you are going to, maybe ask if they have a spare you can use)

• pencil case (pens, pencils, highlighters, eraser, sharpener, sharpie)

• notebook

• index cards

• post-it notes

• drawing things

• large pieces of paper (or A4 and tape) for potential ‘big’ thinking work

• books on writing/creativity

• touchstone books for the manuscript I’m working on

• pain killers

• antihistamines (you never know)

• runners & exercise gear for walks

• yoga mat (and bolster/blocks if driving)

• snacks (writing and thinking is exhausting).

Five things

some things from my fortnight

1. Find yourself a lovely person like Tracy Peacock! She picked me up from Perth airport, took me to a supermarket then drove me up into the hills for my retreat. Then she presented me with a bag of home made soup and local treats.

2. My pomegranates have been picked and eaten. Hopefully next year, I will have more than three. The trick, apparently, is to leave them on the tree until they are heavy and the skin has begun to dry and dimple as they don’t continue to ripen off the tree.

3. I can’t stop thinking about our holiday driving across the Gibb River Road in a couple of weeks’ time. Last time there in September 2010 the river beds were nearly dry and the boys were 7, 9 and 11. We’re hoping to get to some of the places we couldn’t afford to last time.

4. Straw mastery. Have you seen it? It’s so beautiful

5. Meliorism: the notion that the world can be improved by human effort

   

Over the last fortnight, I’ve been…

Reading

Housekeeping by Marilynne Robinson — have just started even though it’s been on my shelf for years

Monsters: A Fan’s Dilemma — I’m still reading this. It’s done in essay form so I read one essay at a time. I’m still struggling to know what the answer is

Love Match by Clare Fletcher — found it on the shelf at KSP and have dived in

The Opposite of Success by Eleanor Elliott Thomas — one of the 3 books I brought with me. Have only just cracked it open

A Way Home by Emily Brewin — loved this new book from my writer mate. It’s her first YA novel and is tender and beautiful

Watching

Apples Never Fall — it’s based on Liane Moriarty’s novel of the same name. Loved it!

Hacks — new season! I loved the last one and hoping it will live up to it

Listening

Audiobooks:

The Bookbinder of Jericho by Pip Williams

Podcasts:

• Listen Now: Fail Better with David Duchovny

• The LinkedIn Marketer S5 #15: How to Embrace and Develop Your Personal Brand on LinkedIn and Beyond

• No Worries If Not: Why are women afraid of looking old

• The Word Count Episode 17: Dealing with Disappointment

What are you watching, reading, listening to?

In case you missed it, I’ve been adding books as I start reading them to my Chat. Pop over and join the conversation

Til next time

x M