I watched The Social Dilemma and even before I finished it, I was deleting apps and turning off my notifications (not before messaging my kids that they need to watch it).
I'm conflicted. I work in social media, my writing community is on social media, I've reconnected with old friends on social media.
But.
My phone is always close by. Ready for me. Waiting. Letting me know. Hours pass with scrolling, liking, commenting, reposting.
It fills me with love, desire, jealousy and ideas.
It's too easy to click and buy.
In the last few days I haven't touched my phone nearly as much and each time I think I'll check it, I ask myself what I'm hoping to find there. A like? A comment? A follow? Does it matter? If these are the things I'm picking it up for, I've reminded myself that I don't need it. That I could read, knit, garden instead. Or pick up the phone and call someone. Have a chat. Message them to check in with them. The mind battles with me as it clamours for its fix. It reckons with me that it isn't wanting all those narcissistic things, it's the conversation, the connections. I don't know who is going to win yet.
My screen time is dipping and I'm finding space to breathe. Listen. Be.
It falls in line with what Susan McLaine has been talking about in the State Library of Vic Bibliotherapy podcast. More being, less doing. More calm, less chaos.
It also helped to read The War of Art this week as it reminded me of what it takes to do this writing thing.
Read: The Trespassers, The War of Art, Heartstopper Vol 1, 2 & 3
Listened: Bibliography
Watched: The Great, The Social Dilemma, Ratched, Birds of Prey
Writing: Chapters to intersperse with ones already written. Feeling my way into the daughter's voice
Migraines: 4 / 7 days
Knitting: blue tongue lizard for #PlushieProtest & the launch of Animals Make Us Human, Cruiser cardigan for self, beanie for Mr19
The week ahead is full of unknowns: school's back for some and I'm not sure what that means for me in my role, the last term of the year is always my busiest but I don't want to work more hours than I'm paid to, scans and tests on my dodgy knee and now dodgier foot, exam season begins for my youngest. Daylight savings has begun and while I love the warmth and the longer days that this signals, it takes a couple of weeks for my body to adjust with sleep.
Thanks for reading and warm wishes
Meg
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