hiraeth
on yearning, and words and what they give us, and the success dilemma
Hello my dear Musers
My gift for you is the Welsh word hiraeth. Keren, one of my April retreat participants gave this beautiful word, a yearning word, to us on the weekend.
Hiraeth n. (Welsh) A spiritual longing for a home which maybe never was. Nostalgia for ancient places to which we cannot return. It is the echo of the lost places of our soul’s past and our grief for them. It is in the wind, and the rocks, and the waves. It is nowhere and it is everywhere.
I’m slow to get this week’s newsletter out. A week ago, I ran my April writing retreat and it was, again, wonderful. I’m still pinching myself that the thing I thought about for so many years has come into fruition and that it works. It’s a funny thing how our self doubt can get in our way of living our best lives.
Self doubt and imposter syndrome come up quite often with my coaching clients. They talk about wanting to belong, and wondering when that happens. An exercise I have done many times with my clients is to get them to think about what 'belonging’ looks like and how they see themselves now. It is a layer that we impose on ourselves and gets in the way of doing the things that we love. It is a form of procrastination, really.
Another thing I’ve been thinking about, which may be linked to this, is the notion of happiness and success and why so many creatives I talk to find success to be so slippery that they can never hold it for longer than a moment.
When writers first start out, the one thing that most of them want is to see their words in print but as soon as this happens, it needs to be in a more reputable journal, or a book. I have been around this long enough now to see that there is a pattern across most writers I know and, sadly, I have also seen that when the next ‘success’ isn’t landed, there is a deep hit in the writer’s mood and confidence.
A week or so ago, I was talking with a client who was musing that it was an awful business creating, and that it all felt like too much hard work. This client had achieved in their career what would be considered by many creatives as success. When I brought this up, they brushed my words away, that this success was no longer relevant as they had recently missed out on something that would have given them a more worthy success.
Creatives often hold success up as this thing that is always just out of reach, like goalposts moving away as they draw close, even when they have grasped that sliver of success. When the next success desire draws close (submission/award/book contract/residency/etc) but they don’t get it they see it as a failure.
It is a happy coincidence that
wrote about comparison envy this week as I think is connected. When creatives see not getting a contract/award/etc as a failure, they open themselves up to it swallowing them up.
What about, if instead, as creatives, we look away from the external stimuli for our happiness and success and instead look for what the act of creating gives us. Is it joy? Is it satisfaction? These need to be there for us to continue creating.
Five things
Dunley Dinner swelled to 14 guests last night to include my youngest’s Motorsport mates (there may have been a large number of mullets and steel capped boots). I made a huge pot of minestrone, pulled beef brisket, coleslaw and apple crumble. Joy. Pure joy.
I’ve broken through the 1km laps in the pool by telling myself that I only need to do two more laps, and then end up doing 16 more laps.
I’m off to the Sorrento Festival this week to see some great sessions include the one with Jan Cochrane-Harry who came to my 2023 October retreat and has an amazing story to tell.
Freelancers, if you’re searching for a good time tracker, I’ve started using Toggl and it’s free and super easy to use.
Perth folks, I’m on my way to see you soon! My two-week Katherine Susannah Pritchard fellowship starts on May 13.
Over the last fortnight, I’ve been…
Reading
Stumbling Stones by Airdre Grant - a memoir of grief and love
Monsters: a fan’s dilemma by Claire Dederer - essays where Claire tries to come to grips with loving the work of monsters
West Girls by Laura Elizabeth Woollett - excellent interconnected stories ( and one of the 2024 Stella Prize longlist that I am slowly making my way through)
The Pyramid of Needs by Ernest Price - an excellent and hilarious debut
I’m about to start reading Troy Hunter’s debut novel Gus and the Missing Boy
Watching
WOMPA One Act Play Festival in Werribee where my mate Preeti Maharaj’s play won!
Lovesick - the perfect antidote to One Day
3 Body Problem - not loving it but can’t put my finger on why
Listening
Read This - a delightful episode with Morris Gleitzman
The Word Count - Taking a Breath
Your Writing Retreat Connection (the episode where Lisa interviews me drops tomorrow!).
Til next time
x M
PS - a place has opened up for my August retreat. Let me know if you are keen to attend