hush

on enjoying the quiet moments, but not wishing away the noise

My dear Musers

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

I’m writing to you from a rare moment of quiet in the house. There’s only one week until uni resumes for my two who still live at home and it feels like a distant memory when they were last both at uni. Summer has a sense of breeziness to it where the door is opening and shutting with gay abandon, people coming and going at all hours of the day (and night). I know this season, this young adult season, will not last forever and I am not wishing it away at all. I do, however, cherish these moments when it is just me here and I can hear the hum of the children in the primary school across the road, the parents chatting with kids on their way to and from, the children at the shadow box on the lane-side of our fence choosing what they will take and leave, the creak of my eucalypt as the hanging pots with orchids move in the wind.

The river at sunset

Last night we had the first of what I hope will become a regular thing. A bunch of the boys’ friends came by for a family dinner. They all live around here but live in shared houses. At the start of the year I decided I wanted to have a night that was a free for all, come as you are dinner. It’s something inherent in my blood. I grew up in a household where the numbers swelled at dinner more often than not. It was never a problem for a mate to stay, a long-lost friend to drop by, a stranger who needs a feed.

Maybe it’s a part of the stage I’m in where I can see how quickly the house will empty of everyone and it will be me and M rattling around in it. Maybe I’m future proofing against the quiet of them gone.

These parenting years that have gone by in a flash and an age have taught me to enjoy every moment with what it brings. There’s that line I wish had known all those years ago when my feet felt like they were stuck in concrete as I wrangled the three boys with less than four years between them: It Just Gets Better.

Since I stumbled on it earlier this year (and wrote about it here), I have imparted it on every parent (willing to hear or not, friend or stranger) as though by saying it, the words will unpick my past frustration.

The words have also helped me to be more present and to not melt into the daily tripping hazards with annoyance. Instead, I am seeing them and acknowledging them with curiosity. What is it that I need to learn from them?

This morning I woke from a disturbed night of migraine attack and instead of coming up against it, I approach myself and my morning with a gentleness. My brain is reminding me that I need some down time. Last week I attended an online 6-day intensive course that meant I was online from 10 am until about 7 pm. I noted in my diary the increase in migraine attacks, a direct correlation (I assume) to increased online learning.

Other things

My coaching shingle is out!

Last week’s training gave me the tools to coach people to have breakthrough results with an eight week program that is ICF certified. I have now published the Coaching and mentoring page on my website with the three packages I am offering (one off traditional coaching, eight-week dynamic coaching, and ongoing coaching and mentoring).

It feels monumentally great to have committed to this publicly after making the decision to start my coaching training at the start of last year. You may or may not have stumbled on my new Instagram account (with an awkward intro video and not much more…but here’s to making new things!). If not, please follow along and share with anyone who you think could benefit from coaching.

The introductory price is only $297 for the eight week program, which is less than $10 a day, and I am offering this to you, my dear paid subscribers to take me up on this at a further reduced price of nothing! For free! Hit me up in the comments if you would like to spend an hour a week on the phone with me for eight weeks to transform your mindset.

February Retreat

Next week is my second Retreat with Me and I am really looking forward to meeting the five writers. I am in the middle of menu planning, organising creativity packs and preparing for my one-on-ones with the participants.

The first three retreats for this year are full and August only has one spot left. If you want to know more about the retreats, pop over here.

Writing

I am making my way through the next draft of my rom-com and it is going well, however, I am having a dilemma with the age of the protagonist. When I first started to write it a few years ago, I knew she was in her early to mid twenties, but I am now second guessing this.

To help me work out what to do, I am using a brilliant tool I discovered at last week’s course, one the engineers out there may have already heard of it. The Cartesian Logic is a decision making tool that goes beyond the old pros and cons. It asks four questions:

• Theorum A+B= What will happen if you get/do it?

• Converse (-A)+B= What won’t happen if you get/do it?

• Inverse A+(-B)= What will happen if you don’t get/do it?

• Non-mirror or Image reverse (-A)+(-B)= What won’t happen if you don’t get/do it?

Reading

My latest reads are:

• Whenever You’re Ready by Trish Bolton - older female characters and being misunderstood and understood, on friendship and love and grief and joy. Tender and deep hearted.

• The Younger Wife by Sally Hepworth - very funny and clever, full of drama and secrets

• Love and Other Puzzles by Kimberley Allsop - a delightful rom com that hit all the right spots

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Five things

1. Beth Kempton’s Insta post about freezing when she knew famous people were reading her words resonated. When I first chose to have paid-only newsletters, I couldn’t think of thing to write.

2. I’m taking part in Dr Michele Perry’s 100 Days of Wonder. It starts today and it resonates with my attraction to curiosity and wonder. You can join in here and I’ll post pics on my arty Instagram account if you want to catch up with what I’m doing (it also has stuff that I’m playing around with with the 100 days of drawing and Brunetti University).

3. I loved Louise Doughty’s Apple Tree Yard and when I found it on Stan and M was away for the weekend, I took the opportunity to binge it. The perfect level of thrill.

4. Ceasefire. I don’t think there is more to say on this.

5. Ceasefire now.

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That’s all my lovely Musers. I hope you have a lovely fortnight. Next time I write it will be on the other side of the Feb retreat and it is the free issue.

If you have anything that you would like to hear about in future paid newsletters (this is just for you, my Muser), either pop something in the comment or send me an email.

Til next time

x M