nostalgia

on things that catch the eye and the heart

To my dear Musers

Welcome to all my new subscribers! It’s lovely to have you here.

This newsletter has been written in many iterations as I have been distracted over the last month with work and personal things. Finally, it’s here.

Philosophy is really nostalgia, the desire to be at home (Novalis)

Last year was a buzz. I studied mindset coaching and digital marketing, ran six writing retreats, coached with over forty-five lovely people, signed with a literary agent, wrote two drafts of a new manuscript … No surprises that as the year drew to a close, all I could think of was camping by the river.

This year began with nostalgia and anticipatory nostalgia.

Anticipatory nostalgia

It was heaven. A dreamy, heart-filling time with our good mates who’ve been there through the thick and thin. Unwavering, unconditional love. Filled with love and joy, surrounded by friends and nature. It was exactly what I needed. Last year I lost a couple of friends. Nothing ever prepares us for friendship breakups (something that’s rarely spoken about) and it broke me trying to navigate my grief. Being surrounded by love was exactly the repair I needed. While still there, I was already longing for it all again.

My youngest’s love is leaving the country for her career job. There’ll be tears, from all of us. She’s become a part of the family. We’re crowding in on our moments still together.

Nostalgia

Last week, I attended

Kylie Ladd

’s book launch for her seventh (!!) book The Mix-up. I’ve known Kylie since our lives entwined at youth group. In January, Kylie messaged as news broke as our youth group church burnt. I watched, nostalgic for youth group days, friendships, friends’ and family’s weddings and funerals. At her launch, I caught up with her sister. We’d been great mates back in the day. Life, and all it is, meant we lost touch, but never completely. She was chatting with an older man, who I realised (on prompting) was my boyfriend from 37 years ago, the boy I was sure (at 16) I would be with forever.

I’m going through my mum’s boxes of emotional tripping hazards: diaries with weather, appointments; photos with no names or words, of Mum and Dad before they met, pre-family life that I don’t belong to; cards and letters in cursive writing; badges, certificates and pamphlets. It takes an age to go through, sifting for treasures, deciding what is worth keeping, what to let go. I don’t want to burden my children with their great-, grand- and parents’ paraphernalia. The most beautiful find is a photo of my nanna. She died when I was a baby and I’d only seen one photo of her before in bohemian dress at my parent’s wedding. In this new-found photo, she is young and smiling deliriously at her baby, my father. Now, she’s changed in my mind, and I’m stuck with sadness at not knowing her. Can I miss someone I never knew?

Lately: celebrating Kylie Ladd's book launch, going to hear Liz Gilbert talk with Airdre, seeing Trish Bolton for the second time in one week at Maryrose Cuskey's launch, my annual diary finishing and starting by the river, a glut of peaches from a tiny tree meant jam and stewed peach, newly found pictures of my grandfather, and my nanna, preparing to say goodbye to the lovely Channy, hosting the lovely Jae who we met when we travel AU for the whole of 2010

---

Other things

Reading

Have you seen the new section Book Chat in my newsletter? I’ll post about the books I’m reading, but here’s a quick catch up on my January reads.

Did you check out my Summer Reading Recommendations?

In the last month, I’ve read and loved:

• Orbital by Samantha Harvey. A beautiful meditation on the earth and our place in and out of it. I read this by the river and passed it immediately to one of my mates who was telling me how much he loved looking at the stars and satellites.

• James by Percival Everett. I can see why so many recommended it. It’s a reimagining of the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn from enslaved James’s point of view. It’s harrowing and funny.

• I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy. Funny, awkward and triggering (eating disorders (anorexia and bulimia), and narcissism). This wasn’t an easy read mostly because of the mental health issues.

• The Season by Helen Garner is set in my suburb with my people. It was enthralling to read and remember moments from that season and this hooked me more.

• The Oasis by Graeme Simsion and Anne Buist. Serious topics, filled with humour. It’s the second in the Menzies Mental Health Services series following Dr Hannah Wright as a trainee psychiatrist. There’s romance, and all the messiness of a young woman juggling a busy work life.

• The Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley. I loved this book and the idea of what we could/would change if we were able to go back or forward in time.

• A Language of Limbs by Dylan Lancaster. This has stayed with me long after I finished it. It is a beautiful love story to queer lives, love and loss and what it is to find family.

• The Last Summer of Ada Bloom by Martine Murray is a beautifully told story of a family in a small town at a crucial moment of change.

• Long Yarn Short by Vanessa Turnball-Short which I wrote about here

I’m currently reading:

• The Mix-up by Kylie Ladd

• Dusk by Robbie Arnott

• The Mother-in-Law by Sally Hepworth

What’s on your bedside table? What are you reading and loving?

---

Watching

We’ve finished:

• Apple Cider Vinegar (OMG)

• Squid Game Season 2 (can’t look away/watch)

• Hack your health (super good reminder to eat diverse fruit and veg)

• Severance (great concept, well delivered)

What’s next? Not sure… What are you watching and loving? What should I put on my list?

---

Five things that have caught my eye

1. Elizabeth Gilbert
   at Melbourne Town Hall. Key takeaways be present, curious and relaxed.

2. "In theory, consistency is about being disciplined, determined, and unwavering. In practice, consistency is about being adaptable. Don't have much time? Scale it down. Don't have much energy? Do the easy version … Adaptability is the way of consistency." – James Clear’s newsletter

3. The gift of patience

4. Ursula K Le Guin’s timeless vision of hope

5. It’s tomato time of year … nothing better than a freshly picked tomato from my garden!

Til next time

x M