Space

On creating space amongst the madness

Photo by Chris Lawton on Unsplash

space /spers/ n.
1. the unlimited or indefinitely great general receptacle of things, commonly conceived as an expanse extending in all directions (or having three dimensions), in which, or occupying portions of which, all material objects are located.
2. the portion or extent or room in three dimensions.
3. the part of the universe which lies outside the earth’s atmosphere in which the density of matter is very low.
4. extent or area.
5. the area or position for a person to stand, sit, etc.
6. linear distance.
7. extent, or a particular extent, of time.

Macquarie Dictionary Sixth Edition

I’ve spent the last week or so in tense conversations about creating, and how much time and space I need for my creativity versus the time required for me to allocate to things that actually earn money (or earn actual money).

I consider that I’m lucky, we’re lucky. We’re well off enough. We have a house that fits us all, we have enough for the food and clothes we need, we have enough to take modest holidays when we need them.

But time is closing in on us.

We have a finite amount of working years left. We all do, it just that we are now looking down the barrel at it. And the superannuation that I have accrued in my working years is small, to say the least. It’s one of those problems that many women who stopped work to stay home with children have.

My current workplace asked if I would like to increase my days so that I could get more work done. It’s a terribly tempting request as the difference in what one can achieve and how one feels more connected to the work from 3 days a week to 4 days a week is huge. And it’s more money. Which means more superannuation and eases my hubby’s (and maybe my) concern about what retirement could look like.

But…

But it presses on what I had considered to be The Perfect Balance of 3 days a week in paid work with two FULL days on creating.

While I said yes to the work as I can see the merit in it when I look at the finances and the workload, it’s been a week of back and forth conversation with my hubby where we have had to confront our difference of opinion about the merit in the time and space I have for creating.

He, probably like most who are not trying to carve out a creative career, sees the time I spend writing as okay, but it’s not actually making anything. It’s been those kind of conversations that have made me look deeply at whether I should keep going, whether I will ever make anything of it. Does the world need my words?

During this time I saw this post quoting Elizabeth Gilbert, reminding me that it’s just as important to give my creativity time and space.

And so I go on. One word at a time.

Other things

Thank you so much to all my new subscribers. Your readership, comments and likes are the things that help me turn up to my desk early morning after early morning.

Listening

I’ve caught up with The First Time podcast’s episode with Pip Williams and the thing that resonated was how she felt like she’d set herself up for failure with the daily word count. I listened to this on my way home from work having failed to meet my 500 word count that day. Buoyed on by Pip’s way through, I lowered my expectation to 200 words. Since then I have surpassed it regularly and easily. I’m no longer afraid to fail it.

Watching

Sweet Bella

My poor Bella who is 17 years old today had her eye removed due to a hole in it. (It’s a long story but has to do with breed and age and something called mineralisation). It’s been an emotional roller coaster over the last few weeks making the awful decision for her and feeling the grief that she must have felt waking up with only one eye. After the ensuing infection, she has come good and it’s like she never had that eye (other than the occasional wall she’s walked into. I will probably always miss her sweet two-eyed face.

Reading

I’ve been reading Kim Lock’s new book The Fancies that has just landed in shops. It’s hilarious and a great feel-good Australian story set in a small coastal town where there are many stories lurking.

Other recent reads I recommend are the warm hearted story with a ghost train The Signal Line by Brendan Colley and the gripping thriller Dark Mode by Ashley Kalagian Blunt.

Writing

Autumn writing retreat

Mid March I ran away with my beautiful writing crew and we talked, wrote, laughed and solved the world’s problems. I added 10,000 words to my current WIP and made a commitment to finish this ugly first draft by the end of autumn.

I have a note on my desk to remind me to jump to scenes rather than labouring through trying to link them and a note to remind me that the first draft words are ugly words. I also found these great minute timers to help me with focused writing time.

Observing

I go for a walk most mornings between writing and working as a way to break physically and mentally. I used to walk with a podcast in my ears but of late I’m not. Instead I’m listening and observing the world around me. Despite living so close to the city, I’m lucky to also live close to a beautiful wetland area next to the Maribyrnong River. There, I hear and see birds, notice flowers, dew and leaves. It slows me down before I start the day.

Thanks for reading, and if you loved this, please consider sharing this with someone else you know who may love it.

x Meg